Perhaps I was showing hubris. Last night I told my sister-in-law I was too quick to get robbed. Today I got robbed. Luckily, I got robbed by a dumb-as-shit crackhead.
Real Version:
On a rainy afternoon, I walked out of my house to go check my schedule, the whole ordeal turned out to be pointless as I'd have no classes again tomorrow. But the rain was important, though a normally busy 5:30 p.m., the streets were pretty bare. I was walking with my headphones in, the wire tucked underneath my jacket. I walk pretty fast and don't stop for requests for anything. Anyway, towards the end of the street a crackheadhobo rounds the corner and heads for the light post where trash is thrown out. This seemed normal, they rummage through the trash for recycling. Except right as I start to walk past he gets in front of me, "seu cellular, seu cellular" I try to walk past and he lifts up his shirt, knife underneath, so I grab the cell and hand it over, and he motions to keep walking. I fumbled a bit, so this exchange was like 10 seconds long. Unbelievable that there were no walkers on either sides, but indeed many a cars.
But the whole time I had my fucking headphones in connected to an ipod touch. Yeah. And a wallet. And the dude took the cheapest thing on me next to my keychain (don't get me wrong though it's pretty rad, it's a bottle opener/nail clipper given to me by AL!!! In fact this probably is used by me more often considering my cell had 0 credits, and was being shut off due to inactivity tomorrow, but, cells are expensive and simcards are not). But why would he be this dumb? Most people listen to music on their cellys, and I think he thought that's what I was using and tried to make it quick, this was pretty damn visible. Or he was just a dumb fucking piece of shit crackhead.
So yeah, deepest apologies to Ana, it was, in fact, HER PHONE, poor girl. And I have no money, so getting another cell really sucks to the budget. I hate Curitiba hobos, and right now have a pretty lousy opinion of Curitiba in general since it's rained for 5 days straight, have no classes, and it's boring as hell and I live in a shit hole. But heyyyy ITS OKAY. I WAS BORN ON THE YEAR OF THE TIGER! AND THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE TIGER! So shit is bound to get better.
Thugged out version
Cruisin on my way to work some dumb bitch steps all in front of my grill sayin some dumb shit and showin me his lil' butter knife and I was like "BITCH" and whipped my gat into his face, cold cocked son wit the butt and started poundin my chest like whattup now, Napahville mothafuckaaaa USA USA, and kicked him as he was cryin lika bitch. Straight up. Teachin him a little biggie 101.
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